I had a realization today ...
I was driving in to Winnipeg for a couple of appointments and chillin' to Coltrane on the car stereo ... I was thinking about moments in time when my life takes an unexpected turn and I find myself wandering in a wilderness, both figuratively and literally ...
For some reason I began thinking about a moment in time when I walked away from my home congregation on a journey that looked at the time like it would never take me back there ...
It began one morning when, at our 9:15 Youth Class the presenter started talking about how much God loved us ... I listened to the exortations about HOW much God loves us until they said the words - "God loves us so much THAT EVERYTHING that happens in our lives happens BECAUSE God loves us ..."
"Everything?" I asked.
"Everything," affirmed this person.
I then began to question how my father's death could be regarded as a "good thing" arising from God's Love ... I don't remember the specifics of the answer, but I DO remember the intense feeling that the simplistic answers being provided were JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH ... in the coming days I left the Church ... I began a struggle with the questions of faith that lead me away ...
I wandered to a Missionary Alliance Congregation, a Pentecostal Congregation, a Vineyard Congregation and on through a variety of other denominations ... until eventually I just left attending Church behind ...
Today as I thought about that chapter in my life I reflected on the comments of a colleague and friend who said the recent events in my life are a Biblical Jubilee moment where the Institutional aspects of ministry in my life are to lie fallow for a time, and
in time perhaps I will find my way back to the Institution that is the Church ... as I thought about that I remembered the story of a First Nations elder and Church leader who spoke of the circle around the hearth and its centrality to life ...
He noted that central to ALL First Nations is the Hearth where all generations of families gather to share life and stories ... he went on to note that ALL family members eventually leave the hearth and wander into the world. They will eventually come back, but only AFTER they have been away for a time ...
Some come back as young people ... some come back as adults ... some only come back as spirits welcomed home when their earthly life draws to an end ... but ALL come back eventually ... He went on to see the hearth like the life of First Nations village AND like the life and ministry of the Church. He ended by saying - "WE ALL must find our OWN way from the hearth and BACK ..."
The important piece of the lesson that this elder taught was in the openess of the community AROUND the hearth to LET that journey happen, and to welcome BACK the wanderer ... he stressed that the welcome can not be conditional, nor can it be a case of welcoming them ONLY if they adapt to the hearth - but instead the people around the hearth need to be open to the learnings and lessons that came with the journey away ...
My home congregation in time welcomed me back unconditionally ... and together, they and I shared some of the learnings and lessons I had experienced while away ...
My hope is that in those moemnts when we find ourselves wandering in a wilderness of some kind, that when the long road leads us back "home" that we are welcomed back with open arms, open hearts and most importantly open MINDS !!!
Such moments are the heart of the resurrection in action ...
